When the clothes just aren't enough

I do love a designer label. It's not just the name, it's that you just know that the bag or whatever is quality...the feel and smell of the nice soft leathery leather, the beautifully stiched lining...these things that you just can't get with a fake copy. I always wondered about copies. I think one of the things that I'd like most about having say...I don't know...the Chanel 2.55 bag(!) is the fact that I had personally managed to save up like £2,000 for something that I would use forever. Saving up that much would actually be a feat, which is why I'm sure I'll never have one.

But I digress. I wanted to talk about the strange things that designers are doing. Or should I say designing. What do you get the person who has everything?? Well, if you have a few grand lying spare around how about....

A Chanel bike! Look it even comes with TWO Chanel flap bags! That is basically a 2.55 but without a chain! And its classic black and white like you would expect. Trust Karl Lagerfeld to think, 'You know, what this collection needs is a bicycle. Yes. That would be pleasant.' The amazingly useful and in no way pointless item features 'quilted leather handles, seat, pant guard, even the bike pump is covered in Chanel’s signature quilted leather. The bike also features two quilted flap bags and a jewelry roll behind the seat, all of which are detachable and can be used as individual shoulder bags.' Only Karl would think a jewelry roll was a neccesary feature on a bike. And you can have all this for the low, low price of $16,000. Well, there are only 50 of them after all.

But then, Gucci saw this and thought, 'Damn Chanel! A niche we haven't tapped into yet! Everyone will be buying this bike! We must make one also!' And voila:

A Gucci bike!

Ok, it is quite beautiful, all chocolaty brown...couldn't you just imagine cycling around Paris with a sketchbook in the leather pouch? Wearing a beret. I can almost taste the crossiant...But. Really, it is just a bike. With a leather seat. And 'Gucci' printed discreetfully on the side. However, if you have some money you were thinking about setting fire to, why not buy the bike instead? You can buy the Gucci Cruiser Bicycle for $6365 from Gucci.

But then...Hermes saw the Chanel and Gucci bikes...and thought, 'Damn! A trend we haven't latched onto! We must have a bike also!' And voila...

A Hermes bike! Now this is the cheapest option, at a tiny $3,500! Its just a bike, with a stiched saddle. That is what makes it special enough for the price tag apparently.

But then, Karl saw all this and thought, 'Why must everyone copy my genius? Don't they know that no designer will ever be better then me? I will show them all.' And lo and behold...

A Chanel Segway! This is for the fashionista that is too trendy to walk, I guess...I actually don't know who would buy this. Chanel customers are fans of classic, traditional styles...and there is nothing classic or traditional about this. This also comes with the 2.55 and quilted leather handlebars. It's also price upon request so we can only imagine how much that is. I think I'll stick to just the bag.